12:38 PM
It's really very hard to see someone go, forever.
(this picture was taken late january when he's still in a moderate state. and yea, ignore my face. i didnt use any make up and i was so worned out that time. it was after school and i was crying before i met him so yea.)
My beloved grandad passed away on 17th March approx. around 10pm. It was the WORST day of the year. Never thought it would be so soon. Never thought i would lose someone as precious as him. Never thought i would never get to hold his fragile hands, ever again. I never ever thought something as disastrous as this would ever happen anytime soon. I would want him to be there forever. But nothing lasts. He's been suffering with all sort of different sickness. Maybe it's time to shut the burden down on him and let him go, peacefully. To think it over again, he DONT deserve to be forced to lie down on that hospital bed for weeks after weeks. He don't deserve to be injected with all sorts of glucose/chemicals and whatever you can think of. HE DON'T DESERVE THAT. He's a really nice chap. He's been taking care of me since i was young. He was there to see me grow. He was there! He has always been there. There to draw a sincere smile on my face.
His eyes shines like no other. His hugs gave me the warmth that no one could. His words touched me deep. His love for his grandchildren, children and his relatives was so pure and sincere. He never faked his love. I know it. I can sense it. He loves us. We love him too. But maybe God loves him more than anyone ever could. He, deserve to be with Him.
I never felt this way before. It's so hard. I can say that countlessly but no one can ever understand the unwanted phase of life i'm going through now. I really miss you, Tok Ayah. Everything isn't the same anymore. It's so different without you here. But trust me, although you are not here with us physically, i promise, you'll always be here with us deep inside the corner of our hearts. I will always pray for you. I will. I love you.
Ya Allah, tempatkanlah dia di tempat orang-orang yang beriman. Ampunkanlah segala dosanya di dunia. Halalkan lah segala makan minumnya. Amin.
p/s i dont know why but everytime i listen to avril's when you're gone, it reminds me of you, Tok Ayah.
do you see how much i need you and now,
when youre gone
the pieces of my heart are missing you..
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My name is Farah Suhaila. That's all that you need to know for now..
Alternatively, you could : Ask me anything on Formspring
OTHER BLOGGERS
Iqah Luby Aisyah Aida Najib Wan Zul Narysal Hana Alvin Joanne Sufi Huda & Sufi Syamim Shahzli Raimie Hazly Samuel Yan Run Stella Feng Ru Hafiz Fazly Fad Siti Durriah Paula Aunt Nora Psyfool Salimah Farhah Elfie Fafa Faisal Syahidah Nabila Rika Pei Rong Shirley JiaJian Xiaxue Kennysia Cheesie Iffah Nadira Dilah Eellee Shinx Fauzi Issha Sinah Nerly Raymond Shahirah Ange Zeeroc Kikin Peirong Huina Poh Suan Nabella Nutella AdleYanna Sri Mary Nazree Aisyah M Nana Hidir Atiqah Aeynn Far Dinah Mya Puteri Hazimah Teresa Farah Mareeni Nanis Biel Apit Angelin Shareefah Peili Dhab Hafiz aceh